That's me. Certifiable.
Last weekend, caught up in a wave of oblivious confidence, I decided to make a wedding quilt for a young couple that work for the chef. Forgetting that I have vowed, publicly, never to make a queen size quilt again. I was awash in the happy glow of young people in love.
So, thinking I would make it easy on myself, I chose something from the stash that had "Fun" written all over it - a lovely bunch of fat quarters from Marcia Derse. I had seen the very same fabrics made up in the pattern pictured above at my local fabric store, Stitches, and thought it would be a nice simple project. It's by Yoshiko Jinzenji, who I have always thought was pretty cool.
Ha! Segue to this afternoon, where I wander from room to room, looking for my measuring tape (I own at least five - can I find any? Nope.) Then I put my scissors down some where and can't find them, because I have also put my glasses down somewhere and I need my glasses to find my scissors. Then, too late, I realize the upcycled linen tablecloth I am using for the background (chosen since it's supposed to be a white background and I didn't want the newlyweds not to use it because it was white and might get stained, but the table cloth has a few little stains on it already, so I thought it a brilliant choice) flops around like a just-caught trout, and I can't get a straight edge to save my life.
And that pattern? So simple I put it together upside down and backwards.
I decide I should take a break.
Gracie notices that I have gotten up from my work and thinks its time for a walk. She gives her trademark optimistic little "huff", not quite a bark, and I turn and glare at her: "Don't you dare huff at me!" She gives me a baleful look and skulks out of the room.
Take me away. Now.